For One

How many of us tend to overlook one? You see that introvert at work, but tend to keep it moving. You see that one person always standing around the corner store, but find yourself ignoring the person. How about that one friend who has the same issue with their relationship that in your mind you just say yeah, yeah to? One, a number we tend to think about when we want to be on top. Whether it be in business, entertainment, or sports; everybody wants to be number one. Yet how does God view the number one?

Selah

The town of Sarepta was experiencing famine in the land due to its rebellion. Yet God sent the prophet Elijah to bless one widow so she can be satisfied in the midst of a famine. Remember this widows! Jesus had risen and the disciples informed Thomas of what they witness. Yet because of Thomas inner pain, he didn’t believe. Jesus came back just for Thomas to help his unbelief. Jesus was faced with an agony that we will never comprehend or feel when he was nailed to the cross. Nevertheless, he took the time out in the midst of him bearing the sins of the world to reach a soul crying out to him. One, a number that in my opinion God views totally different from men.

1 John 4:17 shares as He is, so are we…

So instead of looking at the number one from a carnal view, let’s begin to look at it from God’s view. You never know of that one soul that God grants the opportunity to share the gospel, be an encouragement, or even bless with a need. Let’s use those one moments we can find ourselves in to build God’s kingdom! I don’t know about you, but I am grateful for a time that God viewed me as for one!

Did You Ever Stop to Think...?

Jesus He experienced his own receiving him not. He had to deal with those among him unbelief. He dealt with church scandals by being upset with them turning his house into a den of thieves. He experienced what we call “church hurt” when the Pharisees who claim to know him turn their backs on him. He was acquainted with grief and knows what it feels like to truly be alone when God our Father had to turn away from him due to the sins of the world. He was mocked, ridiculed, beaten, and even killed. There is truly nothing that we go through here on earth that Jesus did not experience. Hebrews 4:15 This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testing we do, yet he did not sin. So if you feel depressed, He’s been there. If you feel alone, He’s been there. If you get angry, He’s been there. If you feel hurt, He’s been there. Disappointment, He’s been there. Confusion, He’s been there. Temptations, He’s been there. Persecuted, He’s been there. Shame, He’s been there. Weak, He’s been there. There is absolutely nothing our High Priest can’t relate to, but also he set an example for us to follow. Standing on His word! His word is not just pages to a book, but it is alive! The Word can save, heal, deliver, make free, guide, protect, and send joy along with peace! All we ever need is in His word! Sometimes I think we think that is just too simple, yet it is truth. For He is truth! 2020 has been one interesting year. For some of us it was a year of bereavement. Yet I gain comfort in knowing our High Priest has been there. Because of his loving-kindness and tender mercies he can see us through anything! Be encouraged!

An Empty Seat

Its fall season. Where the trees show forth the beautiful colors God created and where the leaves begin to fall.  As we take in the crisp air and enjoy the cooler weather; it is also reminders of what is to come, which are the holidays.

Oh yes a time to gather together with our families.  At time to enjoy good food and conversation.  Some admire the beauty of their Christmas trees and enjoy exchanging gifts.  While the holidays can be one’s happiness, for others it can be one’s pain.

With this pandemic, so many have experienced lost.  I am still in shock of how many widows out there that is in their twenties and thirties.  For some a seat that was filled last year will be empty this year. 

That empty chair will remind them of the hurt of a love one no longer being here to share in such a festive time.  That empty chair will remind a widow that they will no longer get to share the holidays with the loves of their lives.  That empty chair can be the lost of someone’s parent where mom use to make the food so delicious that it melted in your mouth, but now she’s not cooking this year.  For more than I want to think about, the holidays this year can be a lot of people first experience of pain.

Revelations 3:20

Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.

This will be my first holiday season without my husband.  I can’t believe I will not be bringing in this upcoming New Year with him.  Yet I heard a knock at my door.  Jesus is saying here I am, knocking at the door waiting for you to let me in.  So for those of us that are finding it hard during this holiday season, let’s open our door and let Abba, Father come in and fill that empty seat.  He wants to dine with us.  His presence is so overwhelming with peace, comfort, and strength.  His love is greater than any love a human being can give.  I decided to open my door and let him sit with me at my table. Will you?  He can turn beauty for our ashes, an oil of joy for our mourning if we let him!

Alone Into the Alone

These words came from the book “A Grief Observed” by C.S. Lewis and it pierced directly into my heart.   See I thought we had more time.  We were planning on taking a trip to London in December.  We wanted to explore more things now that we settled in our dream city.  I thought there would be more laughs, more disagreements, more memories, and even more love.  Yet on June 14, 2020, that all felt like it got cut off.  It feels like a part of me has died with my husband.

So here I am at the age of 48 trying to adapt to this new life called widow.  It’s in a sense a journey of alone into the alone.  Everyone can have sympathy which is greatly appreciated, but no one really understands the pain of this besides a fellow widower.  Some try to compare it like a divorce.  Yet a divorce is a choice, becoming a widower is basically decided for you.  You don’t have a choice in this new role.  You basically have to sink or swim in it.

As I face the alone into the alone, I can yet see the beauty in the ashes that God always bring.  I realize there was a point where Jesus had to enter the alone into the alone when he had to face Calvary.   He experience God having to turn his back on him due to our sins laid on him. He knows this type of pain.  So for those of us who maybe entering an alone into the alone moment, remember we have the YET GOD who will never leave us nor forsake us!

 It is not easy for a widower.  I always covered them in my prayers, but now I am one who needs the covering myself.  Nevertheless there is a strength and love that can only be filled by Abba Father that makes this difficult journey beautiful.  Not everyone gets to experience such a love in a marriage.  So I’m grateful for my spouse loving me the way God loves me, the in spite of love.  I’m grateful for the wonderful memories we shared and some obstacles that Lord got us through.  So I say to fellow widowers,  especially those that are new to this club as myself, be encouraged to know that there are yet beauty in the ashes that only our God can bring!

When Darkness Feels Like Your Friend

Psalms 88:18

You have taken away my companions and loved ones.  Darkness is my closest friend.

Have you ever been in this place?  A place where it seems so dark that you can’t even think about the light, let alone see it.  A place where you feel so empty.  Days run into weeks and weeks run into months.  Where you’re physically around but mentally elsewhere?

Death has been a dark place for me.  First with my beloved Grandmother who was the clue of our family.  Facts, our family haven’t been the same since her transition.  That was followed by my beloved mom who I admired so much in so many ways.  I had to witness my brother for a moment dance with the dark side after her transition.  Then in April of this year, my mother-in-law spread her wings from this earth.  I thought it was my turn to play the supportive role for my husband as he did I when this pass June he said his goodbye to this realm as well.  It feels like every last one of my blankets that kept me warm are now all gone from this realm.  The hurt, the pain, the tears; even the anger at times has become my new normal.

It would be easy to take the route of Job’s wife with the curse your God and die syndrome.  Darkness has a way of sucking you into its own little world of addictions and chaos that  disguise itself as pleasures.  Darkness can even feel like it’s your friend and ask you for a dance. Yet even in darkness we have a choice.

Psalms 139:12

Even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.

Yes, we can choose for the light to yet shine as light never leaves us!  He said He will never leave us nor forsake us. Just meditate on the beautiful God we serve for a moment.  He got angry, He wept, He knew how it felt to be betrayed, and He even understands the feeling of being alone.  He understands every emotion one can be going through for such a time as this.  His compassion fail not .So I pass on that dance with darkness and continue to look to Jesus who is the author and finisher of my faith!  

Therefore, it's ok not to be or feel ok.  One should allow their selves to release the anger, the pain, the hurt, the tears, and even the new norm of life. Nevertheless know we are not alone.  The Comforter is always here! Who else can provide pure peace, strength, and even joy in times like these-only God!

So I encourage those that feel like taking a dance with darkness to still draw from the light as He is the light.  As they say, to every beginning there is an end.  Yet it is HIS WORD that will abide forever. Rest in His Word.  Rest in HIM!

Remember HIS WORDS

And they remember his words…Luke 24:8

With anxiety, fear, and stress being released over the land; it can be easy to forget His words!  We can get so caught up in our feelings and what we are seeing that the words work by faith and not by sight can seem so far away.  Who would have imagined there would be a time as this where the saints couldn’t even gather together and worship Him in our churches.

Yet they remember his words…

His word that says He will supply our needs accordingly to the riches of his glory…Philippians 4:19

His word that says No evil shall befall us neither shall any plague come near our dwelling…Psalm 91:10

His word that says He is the Lord thy God that heals thee…Exodus 15:26

His word that says He will never leave us nor forsake us…Deuteronomy 31:6

His word that says I will rebuke the devour for your name sake…Malachi 3:11

It’s time like this where we have to remember HIS words and yet stand.  May we stay encourage and watch and see what our God does for His people!

Exposure

As we were celebrating the coming of a new year not that long ago, who would have thought just a few months later our lives as usual would be abruptly interrupted in such away!   We went from going out whenever we felt like it to being bound to our homes.  Yet I find this as a time of exposure.

When all was going well, how many of us saints were diligently seeking God?  How many of us were yet dedicating time to spend with Abba, Father?  Was we really reading God’s Word or were we just depending on our Sheppard’s on Sunday mornings?  See we all think of God during a crisis, even the sinners.  Yet are we having a form of godliness or living this Christian walk as a lifestyle?

Isaiah 29:13

Wherefore the Lord said, forasmuch as this people draw near me with their mouth, and with their lips do honor me, but have removed their heart far from me, and their fear toward me is taught by the precept of men.

What a heart check scripture…selah

Saints, it’s time to check our hearts!  Let’s use this time to repent.   God warning has hit the land.  Will our lights so shine or would it be dim?  Just something to think about!