God Behind the Scenes…

 

This widow journey can be described as a rollercoaster ride. So many up and downs along the road of adjustments. The most recent street I find myself encountering is a street called uncertainty. It’s been four years now since my husband has went home and through it all God has shown me time and time again how much He can sustain me!

Although I have watched God part my own Red Seas, I yet find myself feeling the weariness of uncertainty. Questions like what would hubby have us do or what should I do now has been ponding louder and louder lately.  Then here comes the “what if.”  What if I do this and it be the wrong decision. What if I must do something that I really don’t want to do in order to feel like I’m surviving.  I notice something when I do this, it causes me to focus on self and the temporal instead of God and the eternal. Instead of peace and wisdom, I feel fear and worry. Yet didn’t He ask can worry add a day to your life? (Luke 12:25).

Selah

So, while making a left from the street called uncertainty, I found myself on an avenue called how long.  Abba I asked you what is next for me, how long will it be before you answer me?  Abba I asked can you give me an idea when this will happen, how long before you answer me?   Abba, do you see what is going on with me, why are you feeling so silent? How long? Has anyone else found themselves on this avenue 😊

Two words:  even now!

Exodus 13:17-18

17 When Pharaoh let the people go, God did not lead them on the road through the Philistine country, though that was shorter. For God said, “If they face war, they might change their minds and return to Egypt.”

18 So God led the people around by the desert road toward the Red Sea. The Israelites went up out of Egypt ready for battle.

 

Did you catch that…God sent them the roundabout way for their own protection. It may not have felt that way, but that was his purpose behind the scenes. Maybe you are feeling like me.  God where are you? God why aren’t you answering me directly on this? God how long? God why you telling me to go this way?

 

 I was reminded through these scriptures that it just maybe he is protecting me behind the scenes and desire for me to say even now I trust Him! May we continue to trust Him!

 

 

 

Adonai’s Acts of Grace

 

Psalms 89:11

I will sing about Adonai acts of grace forever, with my mouth proclaim your faithfulness to all generations.

 

Grace- underserved favor

Do you ever stop for a minute and marinate on God’s grace?  His acts of grace are all around us.  The beautiful sunrise in the weary hours of the morning to start our day.  The moment you get that call saying your got your dream job.  When you needed something that you kept to yourself, and He touches someone’s heart to give that every thing you needed.  All acts of grace.

 

Yet let’s dive even deeper…

 

While we were yet sinners He died for us-an act of grace.

Bearing our shame-an act of grace.

Salvation as a gift due to the shedding of his blood-an act of grace.

Intimacy with Abba-an act of grace.

 

May we show acts of grace towards one another as our Father shows acts of grace towards us!

It Pained Him

 

Psalms 78:41

Repeatedly they challenged God and pained the Holy One of Israel.

 

Do you ever really stop and think about how our actions can be affecting the Holy One of Israel heart?

When we rather hate forward instead of love forward-it pains the Father.

When we rather look toward a worldly system instead of His kingdom system-it pains the Father.

When we don’t trust Him-it pains the Father.

When we mock Him-it pains the Father.

When we turn our backs on Him-it pains the Father.

 

Imagine how God felt after taking his people out of the bondage of Egypt, doing miracles like departing the Red Sea, and even sustaining them just for them to turn their hearts to an idol then to Him.  It pained Him.

We live in a broken world and it’s so easy for us to be caught up in what it calls the norms.  Yet let us dwell upon this thought today:

Is my actions pleasing the Father or causing Him pain?

 

Selah…

 

Our Own Way

 

Isaiah 53: 6

We all, like sheep, went astray: we turned, each one, to his own way; yet Adonai laid on him the guilt of all of us.

Selah….

This scripture pierced my heart as I was reading it.  How many times do we, even within the body of Christ go our own way?  Those times Abba may have said to go right and we go left or tells you to forgive but we rather hold grudges.  How about how he pleads so hard for our hearts?  Just look at the Word.  From Genesis to Revelations you see God’s love letter to men, desiring our hearts for Him.  Yet I wonder how many of us He can say have our hearts?

Do we read His word or go in prayer as our Christian checklist?  When attending church or being part of service, is it away to say to ourselves I did my Christian duty?  Are we really doing things our own way or in His way?

Selah…

Yet Adonai.  Two words that pierced my heart.  Yet Adonai love us in spite of us.  Yet Adonai laid on him the guilt of all of us.  Our shame, our sin, our own way. He is yet pleading for our hearts even today.  Just like in the natural, we want a spouse to love us from their hearts, not out of obligation.  We want family love to be sincere, not as a duty.  How much more does God wants us to love Him with our hearts.  He shed His blood to restore intimacy with him.  So will we be intimate or rather go towards our own way where we know of Him, but not actually Him.

Let us do a heart check with Abba.

 

 

 

How’s Your Chapter Doing?

 

Revelations 20:11, 12

And I saw a great white throne, and him that sat on it, from whose face the earth and the heaven fled away; and there was found no place for them.

And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works.

Let that marinate…

Sometimes we can be so caught up in the affairs of this world.  The bigger house, the prestige job, that large bank account can so overwhelm our daily affairs.  It can even make us feel like failures if we don’t achieve them, or make us too prideful when we do.  Yet have you ever stopped and thought of how all these things are what Ecclesiastes calls vapors?  God is not against us having these things, but he’s not please when these things have us.  They are added things as we are to be seeking His Kingdom first!

Let’s go even deeper…do you ever stop to think about the book of life and how your chapter will read on that day of being face to face with him?  Selah

I wonder what it would say.  Would it say I forgave or I just couldn’t give that over to the Lord because He knows how bad that person hurt me.  Would it say I saw them through your love or well we are under grace and God understands why I just can’t stand that person.  Would it say whatever gifts you given, no matter how great or small you feel they maybe I used them for your kingdom, or would it say I wasted it too much time on material gain.

Bold Existence Ministries really made me think this morning.  Heaven and earth is going to pass away.  That home, that car, that job, even that relationship is going to pass away.  So why get so caught up in vapors?  Treat it for what it is a blessing while passing through, not your identity.  Not even your real life.  I don’t know about you, but I want my chapter to be a good one.  Thank God, for his mercy that blesses us fresh very morning to change our chapter in the book of life.

Be encouraged.

 

Check out Bold Existence Ministries:

https://youtu.be/OAGWVR0Lhqo?si=4nnJWmQJxgb3reD3

 

A Jonah Moment

 

When we look at the book of Jonah from the outside looking in, we all can find ourselves saying just say what the Lord told you to say and keep it moving J  Yet as my pastor’s wife highlighted, we all at one point are Jonah’s.  Let’s face it, there are times when you want to kick and scream at the Lord when He tells us something to do that doesn’t feel good at all to your flesh!

 

I find myself being Jonah.  A leak happened in my apartment that caused my mattress to be damaged.  On one hand, I was praising God it was the mattress and not something more complex to handle.  Yet on the other, I was devastated.   I begin to think about all the wonderful memories I shared with my husband on that mattress.  A new start in Philadelphia.  MSNBC News causing some good debates.  Times of just playing jazz music while we cuddle. It wasn’t marital relations.  Now I had to watch all those memories placed in a plastic mattress bag.  Oh how I cried like a baby while I watched it go out the door. 

My Jonah attitude kicked it.  Why did this have to happen God?  Things has already been taken away from me related to my husband; did the mattress have to go too?  This isn’t fair.  I can’t even keep our mattress.  All I have left are memories and pictures.   Selah

This Ruth Journey is like a roller-coaster ride.  There are days I am up and there are days I am down.  This mattress avenue got me way down.  I cried so hard that my eyes felt tired.  All I could think about is how things really are a vapor in this life.  Yet the question remains: can we yet trust Him?  Selah

It began to darn on me that what if Abba was just helping me along on this widow way.  He doesn’t want me to settle like Abraham father Terah did in the city of Haran.  He has so much more in store for me.  However if I keep looking back, if I keep wanting to stay in the past, how can He lead me into the future?

See fear takes-it takes away our joy, our peace, our trust. 

Faith gives-it gives us joy, our peace, and growth in trust.

I’m at a street corner now on Ruth Journey where I have to decide do I make a right on faith or make a left on fear.

God is so beautiful!  He wants to leads us on the path He has for us.  Yet He is such a gentleman that allows us to make the choice.  He never forces anything on us.  He always there!  This hurts and it’s ok for me to say Abba this hurts.  Nevertheless, I will yet trust Him even in my Jonah moment.

Be encouraged widows

Sunshine Vibes

Oh, the beauty of the sweet sunshine.  How it uplifts your spirits.  How it inspires you to go out and enjoy the day.  The pleasure of taken in the morning’s fresh air.  Everyone can admit they love a nice sunshine day.  Yet who created the sun?

Habakkuk 3:4

His radiance is like the sunlight.

He has rays flashing from His hand,

And there is the hiding of His power.

Revelation 1:16

In His right hand He held seven stars, and out of His mouth came a sharp two-edged sword; and His face was like the sun shining in its strength.

When I look at a beautiful sunrise, I remember to look at Adonai. He uplifts us.  He inspires us.  He strengthens us and give us the grace to enjoy our day.

Ecclesiastes 2:24 

There is nothing better for a person than that he should eat and drink and find enjoyment in his toil. This also, I saw, is from the hand of God,

Yes, God wants us to enjoy our lives from time to time.  He was the creator of enjoyment as well.  So, I challenge you the next time your eyes dwell upon a beautiful sunrise or get to enjoy a sunshine day, stop and meditate on Adonai.  He’s the maker of heaven and earth.  He’s the maker of our enjoyment.

 

Have a God sunshine day!